The Starbucks Effect?

A rather sad notion occurred to me this morning as I opened my email. It was from my mom, and it simply stated "Let's go to Starbucks soon!" Attached to this email was a video clip of a rather, say, brusque old man presumably from New York (read: New Jersey) complaining about Starbucks. In his abrasively loquacious rant, he compared paying seven dollars for a "...coffee and a...pound cake..." to "...eight and a quarter..." for a comparably substantial meal. But, is he complaining about the right thing?

Let's go back to my dear, sweet mom. She wants to hang out with her son and find out the goings-on of his life, and rather do it in that proverbially same old boring kitchen, she'd like to go somewhere warm, inviting, and open to social interactions. So why not Starbucks? Our curt border-hopping friend would be first in line to tell you that you can get a cup of coffee for $1.19 'round the corner and they'll keep filling it up until you say stop. While I appreciate the fiduciary concern for my wallet, I think it's the wrong thing with which one should take issue. I'm not made of money, and I am well aware of the times and amounts I spend. In this instance, money is a dumb thing to complain about. I'm not even going to say it's about the quality of the coffee. It's something much more global.

What is referred to as The Starbucks Effect is the inability to predict traffic patterns on any given morning, which can lead to serious delays for commuters everywhere. Travel patterns are usually based on efficiency, and as such, traffic lights are programmed accordingly. Streets may be designated "One-Way" for a portion of the day to accommodate the traffic. The point is that we map our own behavior for our own good. Now, say one member out of every 50 households in a city (let's say there are 5000 households) strays from this pattern in favor of grabbing that early cup o' joe. We have 100 "bogeys" on the grid. These "seceders", if you will, may turn green lights red with their presence, cause municipal vehicles to fall behind on their schedules, or block traffic when they double park on the street to run inside (That last one really only applies in big cities, but I wanted a third example for effect. Yes, I know it's a petty stretch, but again, effect...).

Granted these are problems that we face everyday and cannot be blamed specifically on those who wish to make a special trip for coffee every morning, but they aren't innocent. We all have vices, but this is one that, on the largest of scales, can be detrimental to the world. I'm talking about the added pollution in the extra miles a car must be driven to get that coffee blah blah blah.

My point (finally) is this: Don't jump on bandwagons. Too many people already do, and this saddens me. I mean, this old guy is complaining about one of two things I have ever heard negatively about Starbucks. The other being their many, many, many, many locations; some are literally across the street from one another. Both the former and latter are brilliant lessons in marketing and I refuse to complain about them. Now, I'm not proselytizing for Starbucks, but those are kind of ignorant complaints. Instead, complain that they roast their beans way too much or they don't know how to operate their thermostats. Anyway, I'm off to meet mom at Julius Meinl. Their coffee is soo good.

Just A Few Thoughts...

I just watched The Lost Tomb of Jesus last night and I must say, I was held captive a lot easier than I thought. The (arguably) neutral approach by filmmaker Simcha Jacobovici was refreshing, but not overstated. It left room for cream, so to speak. In the following, I am not going to critique anything I saw last night, nor am I going to mix in my beliefs. I am just going to react.

I was excited in the weeks leading up to the premiere of the show and I admit I tried to make time for it. Due to its aforementioned enthralling nature, I made time enough for all three hours dedicated to the program. In case you missed it, I'll bring you up to speed as quickly as I can.

27 years ago, during construction of an apartment building, workers unearthed a tomb. A woman tried to stop the workers and it was only after she called the police did they cease tearing into the ground. Still, a small team of archaeologists were given three days to poke their heads in and see what was found. They found a tomb which appeared to be about 2000 years old. Inside were ossuaries (stone boxes that hold the bones of the dead) of an entire family. The bones were taken out and buried in sacred ground in Israel and the ossuaries were taken to a warehouse. There they have sat since 1980.

The film begins by recapping that last paragraph and examines the names on the ossuaries and their connections to one another, given their proximity in the tomb. That is to say, if one tomb is next to another and both were male; they were probably father and son or brothers. The names on these particular ossuaries were pretty recognizable. Jesus, son of Joseph, Maria, Jose, and Mariamne were four biggies. It was instantly noted that save for the last one, these were common names right around the B.C. A.D. switcheroo. Presumably, this is why no one paid attention to these ossuaries. It's as though you stumbled upon a grave in the cemetery that read "James R. H." You probably wouldn't suspect anything out of the ordinary. What the filmmakers did next, however, was a nice attempt to dispassionately prove that they had stumbled upon something special. They charted the names found in the tomb and compared them with scriptural accounts of heredity. Statistically speaking, a tomb reading "Jesus, son of Joseph" all by it self in a tomb means nothing. But when, in a family tomb, it is found next to "Maria" and "Jose" it becomes more significant. Remember that grave you found earlier? "James R. H.?" Imagine next to that you found a grave which was marked "Josephine H." The chances that you just found Jimmy Hoffa just skyrocketed. Yay statistics!

I am not going to recap every last bit of evidence, but let it be known that in addition to the one just explored, there are five more compelling avenues which need to be explored in much greater depth. Naturally, one might say to me, "Of course, Neil, scientists are probably already working on it." Sorry, kids, but guess what? The I.A.A. (Israel Antiquities Authority) shut down our filmmakers without reason. Oddly enough, when I navigated to the English version of their website, it is plainly stated "The Israel Antiquities Authority will aim to increase public awareness and interest in the country's archaeological heritage."* No matter how you translate it, hypocrisy always breaks through.

I feel as though I should wrap it up. As I do, please, dear reader, ask questions. Is this the tomb of Jesus? I don't know. Could it be? Sure. Just please, please, please don't let irrational, small-minded people, no matter their position, stand in your quest for truth; no matter the subject. The sooner we take an interest in autonomous living and come together as a species undivided by race, religion, or creed, the sooner we can advance and enrich our lives. We cannot keep working against each other, for that is what is killing us. Sure, we all have to get off the ride someday, but I want to discover as much as I can while I am here. Hell, maybe Jimmy and I can still grab drinks.


* http://www.antiquities.org.il/article_Item_eng.asp?sec_id=40&subj_id=226